As I left the security of industrial bug sprays and lawn maintenance programs the number of bug hits went on the windscreen went from just a dozen to thousands. It was like a Hitchcock movie except this time the lead characters had six legs instead of two.
I learned long ago using windshield wipers and water alone did little to clear off insect carcasses. It just liquidated the bug guts and smeared them across the windscreen in a milky paste making it even harder to see through.
Rubbing alcohol and Windex, two other suggested solvents for this problem, did no better. The best solution is soap, water, and a large scrubbing brush. But I don't often carry these items for short road trips.
I was about to pull over to clean my window when the air cleared. I was half way to Indiantown. I realized by shifting my butt slightly to the left I could see through a section of clean glass and continue.
No sooner had I made this decision than BLAM! I drove through a cloud of bugs so thick I thought I was in an insect blizzard. Their carcasses piled up so fast that I had no choice but to use my wipers.
Panic screamed in my ear as the gooey white mess of a million Love-Bug guts spread across the windscreen. I searched for a clean spot to look through and found none.
What was I going to do? Slow down. Calm my mind. Panic would only kill me.
When I calmed down an odd factoid entered my mind: Coca-Cola is so corrosive it can polish copper pennies. Well if it can do that, I thought, it can certainly dissolve bug guts. The decision was made: get to Indiantown, buy some Coke, pour in on the windscreen and see what happens.
Patiently I drove, and 20 minutes later pulled into a Circle-K gas station and parked. I bought a quart sized bottle of Coca-Cola with water chaser; I had run out of wiper fluid.
I poured the Coke on the passenger-side windscreen, in case it did more damage than good. I watched the liquid fizz at it hit the bug juice. I rubbed the surface with my hand to help the cleaning process and finished with a water rinse.
My experiment worked better than expected! The windscreen had never been so sparkly. The rest of the bottle went to cleaning the driver-side. The only negative detail was the increase of honey Bee attention.
I made it to the farm with ease.
On the way home, I bought some more Coca-Cola and water, used it again and arrived back into civilization unscathed by my Love-Bug ordeal.